by Stop Mike Lupica on January 7 at 11:42PM
"Actually, no. I'm a pagan."
"Like witches and sh*t?" One of my boricua friend's last name is "Pagan". Not the same.
"Um, sort of. I mean believe in the stars. The moon..."
Green clovers, purple horseshoes. Yeah, I got cha. You'll never steal me Lucky Charms! "You must be vegan, right? You believe in the sacredness of animals, right?"
"Yes, I believe in the sacredness of animals. Everything has a spirit. So I pray for them, ever time I hunt one down."
This sh*t is getting really interesting. He's a hunter and a pagan. That don't work like that normally. "Where do you hunt, out there near you in Long Island?"
"I hunt. Not so much on Long Island. I usually go to the woods in upstate New York, or New Jersey."
"That's interesting." NRA nut. "What do you hunt?"
"Deers. Other wildlife like that."
"Do you use shotguns or what?" NRA nut... I bet you rock the f*cking automatics to "hunt", weekend warrior.
"Bows and arrows."
The Fuck?!? "Pardon?"
"I hunt using bows and arrows."
Who the f*ck are you, Robin Hood? This is New York City, not Sherwood Forest! "Do you hide in a tent or something, and shoot at them from above? How does that work?"
"I make sure to track the animals down. No hiding in tents. I track them down..."
You smell the poo, don't you?
"... I can track them down following their tracks. I can follow their droppings..."
I knew it!
"I have to be able to find them. I have to be good at hunting and gathering."
"Um, no offense, but have you ever been to, you know, a therapist?" A shrink, you f*cking psycho!
"Yes. It was very enlightening. I was hypnotized..."
Biggie Biggie Biggie, can't you see?
"...in order for it to really work, you have to believe, you know?"
I Want To Believe. The Truth Is Out There. "That's cool. What did they find? UFOs and sh*t?"
"...you have to believe in it, and really relax. See, I did. And that's when my psychiatrist revealed to me that I was over 5,000 years old."
Who are you, a f*cking Highlander? Ra'a al-Ghul? "Really."
"Yes."
"And that's why you have to hunt?"
"I need to hunt."
?!? "Word?"
"Yes. The world is going to end in 2012."
Better get my bucket list together. This sh*t gets better and better! "Word? How's it going to end?"
"Some man made disaster most likely. I'm guessing it'll be climate-related. Like "The Day After Tomorrow". Do you know that movie?
Yeah. Do you know... One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest? How about The Shining, Johnny Boy? "Um... is that what... the moon told you? 2012?"
"No. It's the end of the Mayan calendar."
Ohhhh, yeah. That does sound familiar. "I think I've heard about this before."
"December 21, 2012. The 4th Age of Humanity ends. There will be a cataclysm, and most of humanity will die..."
I'm gonna party like it's two thousand twelve. "Have you ever read Revelations?"
"I'm familiar with it."
"Is it going to be like that? You know, Jesus with the sword in the mouth, the four horsemen, rivers of blood?"
"Perhaps. I don't know. But this stuff, man, it comes from the Mayans. They found that date inscribed on the walls of the temple. The Mayan Temple of Inscriptions, in Palenco. It's older than the Bible. Revelations was written by John, when he was alone, stranded on a Greek island, in exile. That was A.D. This stuff, it dates back to BC, to like 3,000 years ago."
"So no Seven Seals, huh?"
"No. "
"So... are you really ready for this apocalypse?"
"My hunting and gathering skills are honed. Are you ready?"
F*ck no. I should start building an ark or something. Make peace with the gods, right? "My hunting and gathering skills... not so much. But I do have lots of canned goods, especially beans. And I cook really good beans. I'm gonna track you down after the apocalypse, okay? You hunt and gather, and I'll cook and stuff."
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"Like witches and sh*t?" One of my boricua friend's last name is "Pagan". Not the same.
"Um, sort of. I mean believe in the stars. The moon..."
Green clovers, purple horseshoes. Yeah, I got cha. You'll never steal me Lucky Charms! "You must be vegan, right? You believe in the sacredness of animals, right?"
"Yes, I believe in the sacredness of animals. Everything has a spirit. So I pray for them, ever time I hunt one down."
This sh*t is getting really interesting. He's a hunter and a pagan. That don't work like that normally. "Where do you hunt, out there near you in Long Island?"
"I hunt. Not so much on Long Island. I usually go to the woods in upstate New York, or New Jersey."
"That's interesting." NRA nut. "What do you hunt?"
"Deers. Other wildlife like that."
"Do you use shotguns or what?" NRA nut... I bet you rock the f*cking automatics to "hunt", weekend warrior.
"Bows and arrows."
The Fuck?!? "Pardon?"
"I hunt using bows and arrows."
Who the f*ck are you, Robin Hood? This is New York City, not Sherwood Forest! "Do you hide in a tent or something, and shoot at them from above? How does that work?"
"I make sure to track the animals down. No hiding in tents. I track them down..."You smell the poo, don't you?
"... I can track them down following their tracks. I can follow their droppings..."
I knew it!
"I have to be able to find them. I have to be good at hunting and gathering."
"Um, no offense, but have you ever been to, you know, a therapist?" A shrink, you f*cking psycho!
"Yes. It was very enlightening. I was hypnotized..."
Biggie Biggie Biggie, can't you see?
"...in order for it to really work, you have to believe, you know?"
I Want To Believe. The Truth Is Out There. "That's cool. What did they find? UFOs and sh*t?""...you have to believe in it, and really relax. See, I did. And that's when my psychiatrist revealed to me that I was over 5,000 years old."
Who are you, a f*cking Highlander? Ra'a al-Ghul? "Really."
"Yes."
"And that's why you have to hunt?"
"I need to hunt."
"What's up with that? Why?"
"There's only four years left."?!? "Word?"
"Yes. The world is going to end in 2012."
Better get my bucket list together. This sh*t gets better and better! "Word? How's it going to end?"
"Some man made disaster most likely. I'm guessing it'll be climate-related. Like "The Day After Tomorrow". Do you know that movie?
Yeah. Do you know... One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest? How about The Shining, Johnny Boy? "Um... is that what... the moon told you? 2012?"
"No. It's the end of the Mayan calendar."
Ohhhh, yeah. That does sound familiar. "I think I've heard about this before."
"December 21, 2012. The 4th Age of Humanity ends. There will be a cataclysm, and most of humanity will die..."
I'm gonna party like it's two thousand twelve. "Have you ever read Revelations?"
"I'm familiar with it."
"Is it going to be like that? You know, Jesus with the sword in the mouth, the four horsemen, rivers of blood?"
"Perhaps. I don't know. But this stuff, man, it comes from the Mayans. They found that date inscribed on the walls of the temple. The Mayan Temple of Inscriptions, in Palenco. It's older than the Bible. Revelations was written by John, when he was alone, stranded on a Greek island, in exile. That was A.D. This stuff, it dates back to BC, to like 3,000 years ago.""So no Seven Seals, huh?"
"No. "
"So... are you really ready for this apocalypse?"
"My hunting and gathering skills are honed. Are you ready?"
F*ck no. I should start building an ark or something. Make peace with the gods, right? "My hunting and gathering skills... not so much. But I do have lots of canned goods, especially beans. And I cook really good beans. I'm gonna track you down after the apocalypse, okay? You hunt and gather, and I'll cook and stuff."
"There's only four years left."
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This page wasnt working earlier i tried accesing it but it timed out 4-5 times now i can access it. Why Does this happen? Am i the only one having this issue?
This page wasnt working earlier i tried accesing it but it timed out 4-5 times now i can access it. Why Does this happen? Am i the only one having this issue?
With the Knicks at an all-time low, our beloved hero, SML, turns to a new play-by-play: shrooms.
Actually for a much better explanation than your high friend over there look to
http://zeitgeistmovie.com/
The first 30 mins will f**k up your mind and any Christian faith you may have.