Earl Barron is 7’0, 245 lbs Center for the Miami Heat:

No, you cannot touch my ball!

Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl…

-Let’s get the obvious joke out of the way.  His middle name is not “Lord”, or “Duke”.  It’s “Daniel”.  Nor did he attend “Duke”, unfortunately.  He has not been knighted.  Nope, he went to Memphis, choosing to stay as far away from the obvious British royalty jokes as possible.

Speaking of Duke:

Earl had a long traveled career prior to signing with the Heat in August 2005.  Some stops along the way:

-He represented the USA and played against Yao Ming’s China team in the 2001 World University Games.  He had 5 points, 4 rebounds and an assist in game-high 15 minutes.  The Chinese team won 83-82.

-He was not drafted by any NBA team.  As such, he played on Turkish team Tuborg Pilsner for a season, averaging 9.5 ppg and 5.3 rpg.

Question: Has there been any weird incidents while you were playing in Turkey?

EB: “We had one incident where we had a close game, and the referee had called a foul when no one was near the player. He made two free throws with no time on the clock to give them the game. That was before I had gotten there. But the fans threw water bottles and stuff on the court. I’d seen a few fights in the stands, but nothing too extreme. I have heard a few stories, but luckily I wasn’t a part of that.”

-He later played on the Red Bull Thunder team of the Philippine Basketball Association (“the other PBA”), best known for being the first professional league in Asia.  The PBA was started back in the 70’s, and early on featured an “intense rivalry” between the Crispy Redmanizers (the last time I used my Redmanizer, I started spouting off quotes from “How High”) and the Toyota Super Corollas.  They were also known as the Toyota Tamarows and the Toyota Super Diesels (showing off how cutting edge Pilipino slang was back in 1981), but never the Toyoya Method Maneaters.

Bad joke time: 

Q: What's the capital of Honduras?

A:  Accordas.

-The Red Bull Thunder were disappointed by Barron, who failed to live up to the legacy of former Duke standout Antonio Lang, who lead the Thunder to the 2001 Cup title. 

From the press conference to introduce Earl Barron as a Heat player:

Question: When did you play in the Philippines?

EB: “May and June. Before I went to Long Beach.”

Question: Was there NBA competition?

EB: “It was ok, every team had an American guy on the team, so they matched us up with the American or they matched us with their best Philippine defender. Or they double or triple teamed us.”

US Travels:

-Barron played the 2004 preseason with the Magic, but was not signed.  He returned to the NBDL, where he played for the Huntsville Flight.  He averaged 11.5 ppg, 5.8 rpg, 50.4 FG%, and a 80.5 FT% in two seasons for Huntsville.

-He had another great summer league the season after that, and the Heat signed him on August 4th, 2005. 

 

It hangs from the rafters, but only in the summer:

This past summer league he averaged 17.4 ppg, 7.4 rpg, 1.0 bpg, 65.2 FG%, and 83.2 FT%.  The Heat therefore offered him a one-year qualifying offer for $900,000, which he agreed to.  Now he cannot be traded by the Heat this season without his permission.  Ira Winderman of the Sun-Sentinal on Barron’s signing:

Granted, Earl certain has had his summer moments. In fact, an argument could be made for Barron having his Heat summer-league jersey retired…

 

Paid In Full

His contract makes him the 340th highest paid player in the NBA.  He started the season ranked #455th on Yahoo!’s fantasy rankings, but is currently #413 despite not having played a minute yet this season.  He’s apparently shown some strong potential sitting on the bench over the last week. 

It was a surprise he made the Heat’s roster at all.  He was one of three players held out of practice by Pat Riley in the preseason for “bad conditioning” reasons.  The other two were Antoine Walker (since traded to the Siberia Wolves) and Smush Parker. 

He’s unlikely to get much playing time, unless some sort of injury happens to befall Ironmen Shaquille O’Neal and Alonzo Mourning.   Hmm… perhaps that’s why he made the roster?

 

Bah Bum Bah Bum Bah Bah Bum Bah Bum Bah Bum

-He’s the all time leader in charges taken (36) in Memphis history.  Seriously, that’s an official stat?  Does Manu Ginobili’s agent know that?

-He’s a damn good Free Throw shooter for a big man.  He hit 17 of 18 last season (94.4%), and has an active streak of 12 straight makes that dates back to December 2006.

And now he has perfect vision, thanks to Laser surgery performed on 5/23/07.  I bet this doctor never thought it would be Earl Barron that would have people linking to his testimonial page.


Like Ike:

Earl Barron was born and raised in Clarksdale, Mississippi.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the city’s website – it says so:

Birthplace of: Earl Barron - NBA player (Miami Heat, born: Aug 14, 1981), Ike Turner, Mario Haggan - 2005 NFL player (Buffalo Bills, born: Mar 3, 1980

21 registered sex offenders in Clarksdale? 

Earl averaged 20 ppg, 11 rpg and 5 bpg as a senior at Clarksdale HS.  He was named All-State.  He also played tennis. 


When White Chocolate Doesn’t Return Your Calls:

Question: Do you know anyone well on the HEAT roster?

EB: “Not really. I met Dorell (Wright) and Udonis (Haslem) this summer. I bumped into Jason (Williams) a couple of times. He knows me, and I know him.”

I’ve bumped into Walt “Clyde” Frazier a few times on the street… now I can use him as a job reference!


The Battle of the Floridian Subs:

On October 12, 2007 got into a nice battle with Marcin Gortat in the fourth quarter, during garbage time of a Magic 102-69 preseason win.

He had a rebound, made a 15-footer, traveled, made a 17-footer, made a 16-footer (the range!), had an assist that lead to a Jeremy Richardson layup, then another assist that lead to a Jeremy Richardson 16-footer, hacked Gortat, and finally missed a shot.  He played the entire quarter! 

Actual Professional Career "Highlights" Listed on NBA.com:

-has missed 11 games due to injury, 61 as a healthy scratch on the inactive list, 49 as a DNP-CD and seven games while on assignment to the NBA D-League

-…has scored in double figures once…

- has two dunks

- has drawn six charges

Personal Info:

welcomed students back to Riverside Elementary School for the first day of classes in August of 2005 and helped distribute school supplies to the children…in his free time he likes to play tennis, billiards, ping-pong and go bowling and fishing…likes to listen to hip-hop, R&B and gospel music and lists Young Geezy and Eminem among his favorite artists…lists Friday After Next, Rush Hour 2 and Wedding Crashers among his favorite movies and pasta and pizza as his favorite foods

"Young Geezy"?  Nice misspelling.  Apparently the editor of NBA.com has never heard The Hotness that is Go Getta .

And finally… there is no You Tube footage of Earl Barron.  At all.  So I’ll give you the next best thing… the Toejam & Earl Theme on bass:



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