This is Eric Piatkowski:
Piatkowski raises above a terrified Laker...Eric Piatkowski is a 6'7 SG/SF for the Phoenix Suns.

He has been in the league since 1994.  I did not know he was still in the league, or even still alive.  But apparently he is! 

Involved in a Minor Trade:
Piatkowski was drafted by the Pacers with the 15th pick overall in the 1994 draft.  They immediately trade him along with Pooh Richardson and Malik Sealy to the Clippers, in exchange for Mark Jackson and Greg Minor.

The Magnificent So-So Seven:
There are only seven players from that draft still left in the NBA:  Jalen Rose, Eddie Jones, Juwan Howard, Donyell Marshall, Grant Hill, and Jason Kidd are the others.  Or, as I like to call them... Jason and the Arnogoodnauts.

The Greatest Clipper in Franchise History:
He's so graceful.  Too bad this happened at midcourt.He played with the Clippers until 2003.  He is the franchise leader in games played (616).  During the height of his success with the Clippers, he once started 64 games in a season (in 2001-2002).

He’s averaged double figures in points three times – in 97-98, 98-99, and 00-01, proving any basketball player can average double figures if they start.

He has never averaged more than 3.5 rpg, or 1.6 apg, in an NBA season.

He has, however, hit almost 40% on 3PTs in his career, including an amazing 46.6% that year he started 64 games for the Clippers (3rd best in the NBA that year). He also hit 89.4% from the FT line.

He then played briefly with the Rockets in 03-04; he was traded with Adrian Griffen and Mike Wilks to the Bulls for Dikembe Mutumbo.  He signed a two-year deal with Phoenix in 2006. 

I Think It's German:
His nickname is “Pike”.  Also known as "The Polish Rifle" and "The Polish Sniper".  If I was nicknaming him based on the pic to the right, I would go with "Polish Jesus".

NBA Legacy:
His father Walt played three seasons for the ABA in the 70's.  He once averaged 12.2 ppg for Denver.

His grandfather Joe played in the 1950's NBA, making Eric the first third-generation player in NBA history.  I was unable to find Joe Piatkowski's stats, so Walt might hold the family record for ppg in a season.  However, I did find this amazing anecdote about a Joe Piatkowski:


Joe Piatkowski, a.k.a. Booneville Joe, was a mechanic in the Instrument Shop from Booneville, NY. He was a big bull-shitter that everyone liked to tease because you could always get a rise out of him. The guys used to pull all kinds of practical jokes on him. They would turn his toolbox upside down or hide some of his tools or his lunch. Joe would yell, “I don't get mad, I get even!” One time after he called in sick for a day, the guys wrote a phony letter of reprimand from personnel saying that Joe was using too much sick time. The letter stated he was developing a pattern of days off sick and the next time he called off sick, he would need to see the company doctor before he would get paid. When Joe saw that letter he really hit the ceiling and went tearing out to see the boss. Naturally the boss didn't know anything about it and called personnel. They didn't know anything about it either So, if finally dawned on Joe that it was another practical joke. He came tearing back to the shop saying that the company is going to fire the guy who wrote that letter for impersonating a boss. We all acted innocent and denied knowing anything about it. It was hilarious!

Joe was engaged to be married. The Friday afternoon before the scheduled Saturday wedding we had a little party for him in work and things got carried away. Two guys grabbed Joe and held him while tow other guys pulled his pants down and spray painted his genital area with red paint.  Boy Joe was really mad and I don't blame him. I thought it was a stupid trick to pull! Joe quit when he had to move to Pittsburgh.

They sprayed painted his genitals red!  Those same genitals would eventually produce Eric Piatkowski!  Now you know why they sometimes call him "Eric the Red".

If this was still the rule, Eddy Curry would wear jersey #140:

Eric Piatkowski wears the #52 because it was the only size that would fit him in high school.  Back then the jersey number also represented the size, apparently.

Crib Notes:

My $4,000,000 mansion is just like that, but with a stripper pole.

Piatkowski's Phoenix, Arizona home is worth approximately $2.4 million and offers four bedrooms, five bathrooms, and just over 5,000 square feet. Backyard amenities include a swimming pool, spa, outdoor kitchen, firepit, and a gazebo.

Info provide by this site.

Could have doubled his lifetimes earnings:

He’s made $26,289,348 dollars in his career.

He was once “offered” $30 million over 3 years, but purely for salary cap bullsh*tting reasons:

Yes, one of those unrealistic contracts was the 30 million/ 3yr signing of Eric Piatkowski, which was done only so the PHX gm could make contracts match in a trade. Was that the move that made you finally say “ok this is getting out of control”? And what can you say to Eric Piatkowski who had his heart broken after getting a 30 million dollar contract and then have it quickly taken away?

Eric knew that the contract wasn’t going to fly. He was prepared for it, and didn’t even attempt to look more into it that it was, just a transaction gone bad.

Polish for "Short Shorts":

In 2001 was fined $5000 for wearing his shorts that were ”too long”, along with Shaq, Kobe, T-Mac, Nick van Exel, and Dana Barros.

Apparently Only White Players Guard Eric Piatkowski:

Wally looks surprised to see Eric jumping that high!Thunder Dan looks tan!Eric Piatkowski looks really graceful.

Eric On What Blows His Mind (High-Stakes Poker):

"Everybody has the ability to pay," said an 11-year veteran, Eric Piatkowski, a forward with the Chicago Bulls. "I can't imagine a teammate not settling up. It would blow my mind."

That's from an International Herald Tribune article on poker playing among NBA players.  The real awesome line involves Charles Oakley, of course:

Yet that's what happened in 2000 when Tyrone Hill of Philadelphia and Charles Oakley of Toronto quarreled over an unpaid debt.

As Oakley told it in a recent interview at Madison Square Garden, a game of dice left Hill more than $60,000 in debt. Oakley slapped Hill in the face before a preseason game, then hurled basketballs at him before a regular-season contest. The NBA fined Oakley $10,000 and suspended him for one game for the ball-tossing episode. Neither player was disciplined for betting.

"Some guys don't pay," said Oakley, now retired. "It's just one of those things you have to deal with."

Other Leisurely Activities:
In his free time Eric Piatkowski likes to haze Suns rookies and hang out with Kirk Hinrich and Chris Duhon in the VIP section of the trendy Le Passage club dancing until 4:00 in the morning.

He is also a master of playing the spoons.


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3 Comments

Comments

[November 20, 2007 5:28 PM]  |  link  |  reply
goathair said

I didn't even know Eric Piatkowski could jump or bend his knees.

[November 21, 2007 7:29 AM]  |  link  |  reply
Jack Cobra said

Actually, his nickname is the 'Polish Missile" for his ability to send out an air assault from downtown.

[July 3, 2008 3:26 PM]  |  link  |  reply
Lauren said

Am I the only person who actually likes him? There is nothing wrong with having a veteran player on the team.




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