Not only do I now have a legit excuse for going to the titty bar ("I'm doing research!"), but apparently the conclusion of this paper is that a woman is sexier when she's most fertile, doubling the earnings of those who are menstruating or on the pill. Folks, I have just armed you with a great conversation starter. Now go get some trim tonight at the bar.
And I'm sure everyone has their "This is what I associated with strippers" music song list. This is the song that always reminds me of seedy strip clubs:
******
I missed this Barnesgasm post (seriously, it's the only one I've missed in the past six months!), but his comment after I posted that Ice Cube video lead me to it. I'm going to post my two favorite parts of that post, which cracks me up, if only because it combines a few of my favorite things:
Kyle
Korver, Kyle
grew up as a black dude in South Central, so, this song is basically about his
youth. Also, when Ice Cube says "get me on the court and I'm trouble/last
week fucked around and got a triple double" is actually referring to the
Kyle Korver triple double, since Kyle still believes that the three major
statistical categories are shots attempted, dribbles, and Punkings.
It Was A Good Day - Ice Cube
Does anybody else wonder whether Ice Cube keeps tally of his assists in pickup
games every time they hear this song?
In case you're wondering, Kyle dribbles 10 times in that
I also really liked the Joey Graham one, set to 50 Cent ("If I Can't"). Good work, Barnesgasm.
********
1. I shall pick the 12 worst players in the league. These will, for obvious reasons, be mostly New York Knicks.
2. I shall never field a team. All bench, all the time. Meaning I should come in last place in every single stat category (except for field goal percentage, when I will be tied for last with whoever has Rafer Alston. Seriously, that guy can bite me).
3. I will, however, come in first place in turnovers, marking the first time I’ll lead a statistical category in my fantasy basketball career! If this makes you angry, I’d be happy to draft Gilbert Arenas and just play him once, which should markedly hurt my turnover stats.
4. I will approve absolutely any trade requested of me, just in case Jerome James lost two to three hundred pounds over the offseason and decides to exert some effort.
5. I will be available for consultation, for counseling, for advice. I’d like you to think of me as the league’s Analyst/Therapist: or what we in the soft sciences know as an AnalRapist.
6. But mostly, I’ll be there to make fun of pretty much everything that happens in the league. You’ve been warned.
*************
Have a fun weekend ya'll:
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I don't hate Ashton because he's white. I hate him because I was really disappointed in "The Butterfly Effect". I expected better. Also true for "Just Married", though the scene with the little Euro compact car cracked me up.
I have named my team, and it is Dickau's Dark Dreams. That is all.
I am proud of being the first self proclaimed Korver groupie ever
Larry Bird was just a poor man's Kyle Korver
SML, u hate him because he shoots the three and bangs Demi Moore, just admit it, it's ok :-)
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Pour Some Sugar on Me is the quintessential strip club song, or so I've heard. By the way, Korver's better than every Knick swing man. You only hate him because he's white.