by Stop Mike Lupica on October 2 at 10:56AM
A couple of weeks back I was talking to one of my boys, and we came up with the idea of seriously starting up a firm that would go around and give Entourage Training seminars to NBA players and other athletes.
Here a few of the "services" we would provide:
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Here a few of the "services" we would provide:
- Proper job placement for the members of your crew that you wish to employ. For example, you will probably need the following roles in your crew: Driver, Weed-Carrier, Muscle.
- The Driver should be the most responsible member of your crew. He will be given extensive training on how to behave when the crew goes out. A proper driver must not engage in drinking or weed smoking activities. He should know how to use turn signals properly, and how to drive at the speed limit. He shall be aware at all times that a black man driving an expensive car is going to be followed by the police looking to bust a baller. Therefore he will do what he can to limit a cop's possible excuses for pulling the car over.
- Proper taking care of The Driver is necessary. See, The Driver may be tempted to want to hang out in the club, get his drink on, or smoke some weed with the crew. The Athlete in Charge must make sure his boy is taken care of at all times. We suggest making sure he has a PS3 or similar entertainment device in the car to keep him entertained. You might also have to keep a honey around in the car to keep him happy. So be it. Remember: The Driver is there to keep you out of trouble.
- Make sure The Driver is also legally licensed to carry a firearm. Make sure all guns in the car are legally purchased (they're not that much more expensive than illegal guns, and they're new). Make sure they are properly stored, and that they are registered (legally) in the name of The Driver, or whoever is in charge of firearms.
- There should be a guy whose role is to make sure the car's license and registration are up to date. Cops love the expired registration excuse to bag an athlete. And it's not that hard to make sure The Driver, or even the Athlete, have valid driver's licenses. Again, have one person - someone who is familiar with Microsoft Outlook or entering reminders in his Blackberry - in charge of making sure everything is up to date.
- Never carry your own weed. Let someone in your crew be in charge of that.
- Similarly, you should never have to pull a Rafer Alston, and shank another person at the club. That's why you have an entourage - to handle your fights for you. There should be one person in the crew that handles beefs. He's the one who takes the rap if the cops get involved. Real life-example from the rap world: P.Diddy and Shyne. Sorry, but if someone is going to take the fall, make sure it's not you, Star Athlete.
- Strip clubs? Really? Haven't we learned from Pac-Man Jones and Stephen Jackson about the pitfalls of going to a strip club? If you want to make it rain, do it at home. Build a stripper pole/room in your house. Invite your boys over. Hire some girls to come work for you that night. Listen, if I can get a stripper for my boys bachelor party, Star Athlete can get a bunch for his entertainment.
- Along those line: if you want to party while visiting a different city (let's say New York City), get together with some other Star Athletes, and rent a nice spot for you all to time-share. You can have your poker games there, call the strippers/girls over, smoke your weed, and never get into any trouble because it's not a hotel, it's not a public area. It's a private spot you all own together.
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These are all very good suggestions.
I've long worried why so many athletes insist on going out to strip club where they become a serious target. As you said, hiring strippers for private parties is not difficult and you get to avoid all haters.