Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia (F.Y.R.O.M):

Stereotypes:

Power-hungry Greeks.  Macedonian women wear lots of black pants/jeans. But hey, they had Alexander the Pretty Good.

Truth:

Power-hungry Slavs.  And it's Alexander the Great, okay?  But he's also Greek, so f*ck him.

Recent Olympic History:

Wrestler Magomed Ibragimov won a bronze medal on the last day of the 2000 Summer Olympics.  And um, there's Korragos, who challenged into a fight the Olympic winner Dioxippos and lost.  In 400 BC or so.  You think Cubs fans have had a long wait?

2008 Olympic Potential

Current Issues:

Yes, that's its official name.  The country came into being in 1993, after the former Yugoslavian split up (see Croatia, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Little Bosnia, Upper Bosnia, Bosnio, and the Littlest Bosnia).  Historically the land that is now Macedonia has been part of several empires: The Greek Empire, the Roman Republic, the Roman Empire, the Byzantine Empire, the Bulgarian Empire (What?!?  There was a Bulgarian Empire?!?  Who did they rule over, the Albanians?), the Serbian Empire, the Ottoman Empire, and the Armoire Empire (which really clashed with the Ottoman). 

There's this weird naming issue with the Greeks.  You see, in Greece there is a province called "Macedonia" (or, in the original Greek, "Macedonia").  The Greeks have had it for centuries, and have also laid claim to the "historical" lore of Macedonia, including the most famous Macedonian of all, Alexander the Relatively Decent (It's GREAT goddamnit!).  So when the Macedonian people got a country in 1993 ("Hey, you've just achieved sovereignty!  What are you going to do next?" "Um... wallow?"), and try to name it "Macedonia" (audacity!), the Greeks weren't too happy.  They succeeded in getting a bill passed in the UN that forced the Macedonians to change their new country's name to "FYROM" (represented by this symbol, also known as "The Sign").

That may sound silly, but the Greeks don't f*ck around.  True story: anytime someone "mistakenly" refers to it as "Macedonia" during introductions or meetings at the UN, a Greek diplomat will ring his little bell (ding!) and request the record to be amended to "FYROM", per the resolution. They probably wouldn't be taken seriously, except this guy is the Greek Ambassador to the UN:

They also believe the Macedonians are really just ancestral Greeks anyway.  In that regard Greece and Bulgaria are similar - the Bulgarians also believe that "Macedonians" are just ancestral Bulgarians.  We'd laugh that off, but apparently the Bulgarians had a fucking empire, at one point, so now we're sort of willing to believe anything.

The best analogy I can come for this situation is this:  Imagine a day in the future ("in the year 2000") when the Mexican Empire finally collapses, and Mexico breaks into 5 separate little nations.  Let's say the Baja California peninsula decides the name "Oregon" should be the new nation's title.  The U.S. might be a tad pissy about it, and fight that name, since it might not want its own state of Oregon (you know, hemp and... um...well, more hemp) and tourism there to be affected by this new nation.  Which is not even to mention if one of the countries wants to name itself "New Mexico".  Or "California" which they had first anyway.  Shit.  I guess if the Mexican Empire collapses we're going to have to go ahead and conquer Mexico... which is sad, because NAFTA accomplished the same thing, but without any of that messy gunfire.

Hey, here's some good Greek propaganda on the issue (on the naming of Macedonia, not our trade agreements with our Good Friends to the South):

Brought to you by the "Greek Shipping Boat Veterans For Truth".  No seriously... the Bulgarians had a f*cking empire? 

Pop Culture:

Macedonian pop music, featuring lots of eye candy... for Greek men:

After watching the first two minutes of that clip, I felt like this would be the closest translation of what that style would be, if translated to American culture:

I'm embarrassed to be a Jets fan after watching that video.  Even with the 50% chance that might be an Eagles jersey.  That came out in the early 90's, during the peak of the Crack Era.  Coincidence?  Doubtful.

Conclusion

There is one thing Macedonia could do to solve this issue.  Change their name.  Might I suggest "Belgium"?

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