by Stop Mike Lupica on August 15 at 11:36PM
Last week Secretary of State Rice announced that baseball Hall of Famer Cal Ripken Jr. was named "Special Sports Envoy". It's a non-paying diplomatic position, although Cal does get all his travel expenses reimbursed. His job is to promote baseball around the world. He's the second athlete to be given this title; non-Gold medalist figure skater Michelle Kwan was the first when she was named "Public Diplomacy Envoy" last year. The DoS has improved their titles, although they have a long way to catch the U.K. (sidenote - true story: Canadian DJM is a viceroy in Europe. Okay, not true, I lied... but this is true: We work with a guy who is a Count. He was married to a Countess. That's f*cking cool, man. I want to marry a Countess. Second on my list: Baroness. Though you should always remember: The Baroness is a slut. End sidenote). Michelle Kwan made trips to Russia and China earlier this year to "improve the United States' image abroad by sharing her experiences as a skater".
At the announcement Under Secretary Hughes (hee hee) talked a bit about Michelle Kwan's efforts:
"Earlier this year, I traveled to China with... Michelle Kwan. She's not only a superstar athlete, but also a humble and gracious young woman and it was inspiring to watch the young people of China relate to her. They were so eager to learn more about her Chinese American family and about the hard work and discipline and determination that had led to her success. She recently returned from another trip to Russia where her message of working hard and dreaming big resonated with young people across the country."
Of course. Those are countries that are big into figure skating, and where Michelle Kwan is a big name. Makes sense.
Cal Ripken has done some work with the White House before. After retiring in 2001, he served as the first commissioner of the White House tee initiative for George Bush from 2001 to 2004. What? What the f*ck is that? And who took his place?
A: Well, in a testament to Cal Ripken Jr's leadership skills, he was replaced by Nolan Ryan in 2005, then Barry Larkin and finally Steve Palmero, all lasting less than a year on the job. Here's the Wikipedia entry, yo.
So where is Cal Ripken going first now that he's a diplomat? China. China? China.
And with that, we'll let Jon Stewart do the rest... from yesterday's Daily Show:
