What writing experience do you have?  It was a question MC Bias raised after the results of the Ballhype Blogger Survey came out.  We'll discuss that survey in our next post (on Monday), but for a lazy Sunday we'll present some of prior sports blogging history.

Believe it or not, I've existed before in various forms, under different names.  I've been around for a long time; I re-emerged under a new name because sportsblogging is much easier and more popular now than it was just five years ago.  I have some freelance, non-sports writing experience, but I'll stick strictly to my sports writing experience here.  So this post is going to contain some of my work back in 2002.  

Of course, I'm glad those posts from five years ago are gone; it's embarrassing to read sometimes, and I learned a few things.  Like don't use temporal references too much in your writings (this is good advice for rappers, too)

"...I haven't been this wrong since I predicted the Rick Rockwell-Darva Conger marriage would last...".

Five years later too many of my readers would not remember Rick Rockwell.  Thankfully.  Unless you want your posts to be used as future trivia questions, you should avoid the temporal references.

Hmm, sometimes you'll see stuff you've written, and see how it can still be applied today:

First, let's give credit where's it due.  Minnesota (Timberwolves) is the worst 50+ win team ever.  It always is.  How do they win so many games?  Do they play Memphis like 15 times a year?  This is one of the most unexplainable things of all time; it's like how does Paul O'Neill always end up with 100 RBIs a year?

Yeah, hasn't the same thing been said of the Cavs this past season?  As for O'Neill, I later came up with a lame version of a Bill Simmons-like theory involving Paul collecting compound interest on his ribbies through the year.  I would like to pretend my writing has improved since the days when I was a Bill Simmons wannabe, but it hasn't.  On the other hand, the number of Bill Simmons wannabes has increased exponentially, so I guess I blend in more now.

And I actually spared you the rest of the paragraph, which included a blueprint for how to improve Minnesota that included trading Terrell Brandon to the Knicks for Kurt Thomas or Clarence Weatherspoon and Othella Harrington (with Charlie Ward thrown in).  Terrell Brandon, another example of why you shouldn't get too excited about potential.  

I decided to cut back on the music discussion when I became SML, though I am known to throw out a few old skool songs, and write a few remixes here.  Still, you don't see too much of this kind of writing in my posts anymore:

Switching to the world of music, I read an interesting article about John Forte in the Times the other day.  Formerly known for being down with the Fugees, Mr. Forte, who grew up in Brownsville and attended the Phillips Exeter Academy (Damn! That school is so prestigious it makes Bronx Science look like the school from Dangerous Minds), dropped a solo album that flopped so badly even the bootleggers wouldn't sell it.  After his label tossed him out like (deleted esoteric temporal reference), he needed some money so he could finance his next album.  After being caught at Newark with "1.5 million dollars of liquid cocaine" in a briefcase (liquid cocaine? - What, the Times can't say "crack"?!?), he is now serving a 14-year sentence.  Interestingly enough, he just released a second album on an independent label.  When asked if he was going to carry this album, my local bootlegger just snickered...

Yes, that liquid cocaine thing is relevant even today.  The newsmedia, particularly ESPN, reported (barely) that Rod Beck's apartment was full of "solidified cocaine", which is, in fact, a lame ass euphemism for crack rocks.  Yo, Rod Beck - cracks and weed.  The combination made my eyes bleed. 

Similarly, you don't want to hear me talk about movies:

I've been thinking about it, and Demolition Man has to get the Itchy & Scratchy award for most over the top killing of the villain.  Apparently, having Wesley Snipes frozen was not enough, as Sty had to kick his frozen head off, so that it smashed into a thousand pieces on the floor.  Still not enough, Stallone then had to jet out the building before it blew up in a huge explosion!   I get it, the bad guy is dead.

Yeah, so that's why I don't write about movies too much anymore.

You don't want to hear about my personal life, unless you want sh*t like this:

Actual conversation on the 1-train after work between (SML) and Sunshine (from work), on our way to Columbia:
Sunshine (from work): "This is a 1-train.  But there are 6-train information maps on the walls.   What's up with that?"
(SML): "Well, my hypothesis is that this train was born a 6 train (green line), grew up and got promoted to a 5-express train, which runs along the same route as the 2-train (red line) in the Bronx, and sometimes crosses over into 2-train territory.  This train clearly enjoyed that, and underwent some sort of train-sex operation, and became a red line train.  It then got demoted to the local, and is now a 1-train." Sunshine (from work): "So we're on a trainsvestite?"

Apologizes for the bad jokes, though that one still cracks me up.

I used to included e-mail responses from my reader (s), no matter what they wrote.  While I still respond to has many comments as possible, I not as indiscriminant as I used to be:

And my final e-mail is from "the Indian Playa", who wants to know "why black people have the ability to make any silly fashion look good - they could throw a boot on their head and you'd see some wigger from scotch plains with a timberland on his noggin...". 

I could try to answer this, but I don't possess enough melatonin.  But since I once again dropped ketchup onto my nice DKNY shirt today at lunch, maybe I should ask my black friends if they could bring "stains on shirts" into style...

No good can come from answering the e-mail bag.

I used to write trivia quizzes (still do, actually - 5 years later - I have a Master's Degree in trivia right now), and while I did write them for a bit over at another site I contributed to, I don't think you want that here:

Interesting observation I noticed during the last quiz I did, which focused on geography.  One of the questions I asked was "What continent is Abu Dhabi located - Africa, Europe or Asia?".  80% of the contestants chose Africa, and most knew Abu Dhabi is in the United Arab Emirates , so therefore most people think the Middle East is in Africa.  I did, too, until about two years ago.  I theorize that 80% of people in their 20's, much like myself, learned about geography through Risk, and therefore believe the Middle East is in Africa and worth three armies. Speaking of geography, the best line of the week is from (name deleted), in response to my bonus question "What is the capital of Honduras?". His response?  "Accordas".

And this is why we don't do trivia over here at SML.

Some more lame material from 2002:

Speaking of Greek Professor, he also responded to my comment about "Robin is Batman" being one of my favorite Daily News sports headlines ever.  His favorite: After Met's manager Bobby Valentine bitched to reporters that catcher Todd Hundley's "partying" and subsequent lack of sleep was leading to his diminished production at the plate, Todd flipped out, leading to this gem: "Angry Todd to Grumpy Bobby: I'm not Sleepy, Dopey".

And I might post some photos from my trips, but I don't talk about them too much.  Otherwise you'll get silly ish like this:

Speaking of hell, what's up with the DC Metro?  You enter the station, and take an escalator that appears to descend into a bottomless abyss.  Seriously, the escalators are like four stories high, minimum.  Then you got through the turnstiles, and down another escalator.  At this point you are closer to China than DC. 

At one point I decided to run up the never-ending escalator out of the station, a la Rocky. Unfortunately I depressurized too quickly, and got the bends halfway up.

I like the way DC conserves their metro cards.  During the week, the Metro runs 10-car length trains.  Sometimes an 8-car train during the off-peak hours.  On the weekends it's down to a 6-car train.  On Sunday afternoon, I saw a four-car train.  By Sunday night, I was pretty much expecting a Mazda Miata to pull up on the tracks...

Yep, these are my archives.

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