Ah yeah... we took the data from the NBA pre-draft combine, found over at Draft Express, and put those accountant skills to use!  Spreadsheeting ya'll.  Here's what we got:

I Get Lifted:

The first two columns are "height without shoes" and "height with shoes".   The heights with shoes tended to be about 1.0-1.5 inches higher than the draftees' height (the actual statistic mean was 1.39 among the 80 participants), which makes sense because most sneakers soles are about an inch plus or so in height.  Um, here are some cats who might be wearing lifts: 

4 guys had 2.25 inch difference: Major Winggate (is he some sort of Catch-22 character?), J.R. Reynolds, Quinton Hosley (trying really hard to be a SF, but only SG height), and Spencer Hawes (already penned as one of my least favorite draftees this year).  Hawes was blatantly trying to top 7', when he's really 6'10.5.  

Also, Bobby Brown gets special mention for being 5'11.75 and trying to make himself almost 6'2 with sneakers on.  Who knows how much taller he would be if they measured the flat top, too?

Shoeless Joe Jacksons: For the life of me, I can't figure out how Ekene Ibekwe and Dominic McGuire only added 0.5 inches to their heights when they put their shoes on.  What the f*ck are they wearing on their feet, sneakers manufactured out of paper?!?  My science background suggests that both must be very dense humans. 

Comfortable With My Lack of Size (Nate Robinson Edition):  DaShaun Wood gets a point for being 5'10.75 and only wearing .75 inch tall sneakers, keeping him under 6'0.  Hey, if you are goin got be short anyway, better to be under six feet tall - that way when you dunk, people will love you more.  

Heavy hitters:  Greg Oden was the third heaviest guy at the combine, weighing in at 257 lbs (or about 18.375 stones).  Only Marko Lekic (267 of lemme guess - former Yugoslavian, probably Serbian - manliness) and Aaron Gray (271) topped Oden.

You're Too Light To Fight: Another Aaron, this time Aaron Brooks, topped the lightweights, with 161 lbs (11.5 stones).  Our boy DaShaun Woods was second-lightest, at 167, just ahead of all the other under 6'footers, including Jamaal Tatum, Bobby Brown (his meals must be "too hot to handle, too cold to hold"), Taureen Green (another favorite of SML's) and Mike Conley, Jr.

That's Who Chad Ford Is Gonna Call "Long" Way Too Often:  Wingspan is up next.  For this category we just looked at groups based on height: 

Among the sub-6 footers, Mike Conley dominates with a 6'5.75 wingspan, topping 6'4.0 wingspans of Aaron Brooks and Bobby Brown.  

Among the 6 thru 6'6 group:  Zabian Dowdell has a 6'10 wingspan on a 6'1.5 point guard body, which is sick.  I'm picturing an elephant with two trunks for arms.  Seriously, he's like Tay Prince of points; me thinks he'll have value as a defensive stopper.  Coby Karl has a 6'11 span on a 6'3.5 body; he also has the preppiest name of anyone at the Combine, unless I missed a "Todd".   Nick Young has a 7'0 span on a 6'5 body.  Mario Boggan and Stephane Lasme both have 7'2 spans on 6'5.5 bodies, and Al Thornton (sure to be a top-10 pick) is 7'1 span on 6.5.75 body.

6'6 and up group:  Corey Brewer has short arms - 6'8.25 wingspan on a 6.6.75 body.  That makes him the shortest wingspan among this group.  Julian Wright is 7'2.25 on 6'6.5 body.  Ekene Ibekwe (he of the high density/no sneaker wearing fame) has a 7'6 wingspan on  his 6'8.5 body, which is tops among everyone at the combine.

You Got Arms like Venus De Milo (or Vinny from Naughty By Nature), Which Means You Would Make a Great Raptor:  Jared Jordan is 6'0 with a 6'0 wingspan.  Which shouldn't even be called a "span", at this point.   Jason Smith has 6'10.75 wingspan.  Too bad he is also 6'10.75 in height.

Go Go Gadget Arm:  Standing reach!  Oh, yeah!  I used to kick ass at this as a kid - this is the one where you throw your arm on a wall above your head and see who can reach the highest.

Among the shorties, only Taurean Green (Sidney's Kid) hit 8'0 in reach.  Bobby Brown (good lord, I hope the Knicks draft Bobby Brown so I can bust out the Humpin' Around remixes) almost got it, with a 7'11.5 reach.

The 6 thru 6'6 group: Zabian Dowdell again, hit an incredible 8'4 reach on 6'1.5 body.  Good lord, do those arms drag?  Throwing out a new name - Jeremy Hunt had a 8'5.5 reach on a 6'2.75 frame.  Stephane Lasme hit 8'11 on his reach, tying him again with body doppelganger Mario Boggan for the best in this group.

Tall group: Kevin Durant has a reach of 9'2, the same as Spencer Hawes.  James Hughes hit 9'3.  Greg Oden wins with 9'4.  

Chubb-Chubbs (Future Jerome James):  Body Fat!  Just to keep it in prospective, even I have less than 10% body fat, and I'm not an athlete.  So Josh McRoberts might take a big dive on draft day, since he finished dead last with 13.7%.  Also keep in mind he ranked 58th at the combine... not good for a guy projected as a lottery pick.  Spencer Hawes!  We're definitely putting you down as a bust - 13% body fat, and your total ranking is 72 out of 80.  Put the donuts down.

Al Horford and Mario "I ain't Stephane" Boggan both had 9.1% body fat, but Al Horford ended up ranked #21, and Boggan #69.  

Jack La Lanne Wishes He Had Abs Like This: In the best shape?  Usually the guards are in top shape, so no surprise Aaron Brooks tops the list (2.7%).  But Ekene Ibekwe is #2... wingspan, reach, and all muscle?  He's getting drafted.   Georgetown's Jeff Green is in the top-10 for best body fat.

Acie Law isn't too bad at 5.6%, but that's among the lowest for point guards.  Jared Jordan, despite having no arms, has 7% body fat, which is high.  He ranked #75 overall in the combine.

I Believe I Can Fly:  Nick Young topped the combine, with a 39.5 no-step vertical.  Nice ups.  Mike Conley Jr. was 2nd, with 35.5.  Other athletic leapers: Al Thorton (35), Thaddeus Young (34.5), Ekene Ibekwe (34.5, SML is man crushing).  

Wait, You Jumped Already?  I Missed It, Do It Again:  Remember in Super Mario Brothers 2 how the Toad character had super strenght, but no ups?  Toad-style: Jared Jordan (this might not be your sport, champ) - 14.5, had the worst no-step vertical leap.  I'm actually wondering how he finished ahead of 5 other participants.  The next closest was Ivan Radenovic, who just sounds like he gets drafted every year, with 23.   Kevin Durant is the biggest name in the bottom of the standings, with only a 26 vertical.  I'm guessing this won't hurt his draft status too much, though.

For the record, Kevin Durant finished 78th!  He not only finished worse than Jordan, he was the worst of all the "actual" participants. 

Maximum Vertical:  Wasn't that the name of a terrible Charlie Sheen flick?  Mario Boggans was the worst, with 26.5.   Jared Jordan beat three others, with his majestic 28.5 leaping ability (ain't it funny that I'm breaking on his inability to leap, when he has triple my ups?!?).    Sammy Meija,  rumored to be a Knick interest, finished 70th overall at the combine, in some part due to his lame 31.5 max vertical. Josh McRoberts also had the same max vert.

Al Thorton and my man not the Jim, not the James, but the Bobby Brown, topped everyone with 41.  Mike Conley Jr. and Nick Young had 40.5.  Aaron Brooks (Mr. Lean) hit 39.5, and finished 14th overall at the combine.

The Karl Malone: We never understood the benchpress in the NBA, but I guess it measures strength.  Anyway, you all know by now that Kevin Durant got 0, making him the all-time weakest dude in the NBA.  Julian Wright only benched 185 twice.  Brandon Wright - 2.  Our boy Zabian Dowdell got it up 3 times only.  Bobby Brown only did 3 reps, too.  But keep in mind he's under 6 feet, okay?

Russell Carter did it 25 times to top the combine.  In fact, Russell Carter ended up #2 overall at the combine. 

Lane Agility:  Let's get through the speed stuff quickly:  Demetrius "Hot" Nichols (another favorite of ours) was the fastest, with 10.39.  Aaron Brooks was second.  Both of them ranked in the top 20 at the combine overall.   James Hughes posted the worst time (13.31).  Second-worst time?  Jermario Davidson with 12.63, who finished 77th overall, or only Kevin Durant was worse than him at the combine.  KD's time, in case you was wondering, was 12.33, or 6th worst.

3/4 Court Sprint:  The last test was won by Mike Conley with a splendid time of 3.09.  Also posting top times: Rodney Stuckey (3.11), Al Thornton, Aaron Brooks, Acie Law, Ron Lewis (9th overall at the combine).

Worst times: Aaron Gray (3.7).  Notable bad time: Spencer Hawes, with 3.51.

Final Rankings:  

DJ Strawberry was ranked #1 overall.  Russell Carter was #2, followed by Dominic James, Mike Conley, Carl Landry, Dustin Salisberry, and Thaddeus Young at #7.

Among participants, Kevin Durant was worst, at #78. 

Other notables include: Spencer Hawes (72), Sammy Meija (70), Julian Wright (66), Greg Oden (62), Brandon Wright (61), Josh McRoberts (58), Joe Kim Noah (43), Bobby Brown (38), Acie Law (32), Corey Brewer (29), Al Horford (21), Jeff Green (17), Demetrius Nichols (16), and Rodney Stuckey (10).

Obviously combine results don't mean as much as actual NBA ability, but they do go a long way to understanding why some players move up the draft boards (like DJ Strawberry has supposedly been), and why some players (like Marcus Williams last season) slip so far down.

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