The NBA Lottery: where we really get to see the stupidiest GMs prove their stupidness. On the real, I generally try to stay away from breaking on GM's for being "stupid"; despite the belief (popularized by the press, particularly Simmons) that "hey, I could do a great job as my team's GM, I won my Fantasy league last year". Note to Simmons: beating Cedric the Entertainer, Pamela Anderson, and Will Ferrell at fantasy basketball does not qualify you to be a GM. Nor does beating a bunch of yahoos from Boston, either. Beat me at Fantasy basketball, you Rondo-loving freak, and maybe I'll give you some props.
Point being, they (NBA GMs) are well paid professionals with years of experience in the NBA, so let's give them that much respect. They may make stupid moves (which I will call them out on, and think everyone should), but they are probably tens of thousands of times "smarter" than my blogger ass, at least when it comes to running a franchise.
But then there are moments where you just have to question some GM's, um, right to exist.
Via the always great Empty The Bench, we found this post by Shoals over at The Fan House. The gist: Rob Babcock, Minnesota T-Wolves Assistant GM (main role: "Babcock, look over the figures on this ridicuously trade I'm making, see if it works under our salary cap") (wow, second aside: does being the second banana to the biggest herb in that field make you an even bigger herb? I use to argue about "Ma$e vs. P. Diddy", who is the bigger herb?, with Ill Will all the time, but I digress) brought back some "holy water" from the Lourdes shrine. To kill the vampire that turned Marko Jaric into an undead zombie? Oh, wait, no, you invited him into your house McHale, so his vampireness is dormant.
No, the holy water is in the hopes that God will throw the Wolves an assist (one more than Marko Jaric has!), and give them a top-2 pick in the NBA Draft lottery. Yo, what up God: Wolves fans definitely deserve it more than Boston.
Still, while I could make the obvious "If Kevin McHale is your team's GM, you need God's help to fix your franchise" joke (oh wait, I just did, huh?), I'm gonna go with this instead - it's Kevin Durant and Kevin Garnett's first conversation together:
KD: How ya feeling, KG?
KG: I believe in miracles
since you came along
You sexy thing
You're my angel from above.
How did ya know I needed you so badly?
KD: Because... Kevin McHale is your GM. We're on our own, aren't we?
KG: How did ya know I gave my heart gladly
KD: Did you really have a choice, Big Kevin?
KG: Yesterday, I was one of the lonely people,
Now you're playing next to me,
KD: Yep, I am. I'm excited Big Kevin.
KG: Been a long time coming...
KD: Only just begun...
KG: Keep doing what you're doing, you sexy thing.
KD: Not feeling this "sexy thing" nickname. I was thinking maybe you could call me Little Kevin?
KG: Kiss me baby.
KD: Um, no?
KG: You sexy thing.
KD: Wow, it has been a while since you had a good teammate, huh?
KG: You sexy thing.
Well, there's the Timberwolves offseason plan, in a shell: Pray for a miracle.
Note: We came close to doing a spoof of Hammer's "Pray" for this one....
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Simmons contridicts himself so bad, he's an idiot sometime. He'd be a terrible GM, after stuff works out right (ie: Warriors) he makes it sound like those move were abundantly obvious. I used to like him, but hes a moron sometimes.