The Mavs are all like:

They look like a bad 70's funk band.  

"All right now, for all you boppers out there in the big city, all you street people with an ear for the action, I've been asked to relay a request from the Dallas Mavericks. It's a special for the Warriors, that real live bunch from Hyphy, and I do mean the Warriors. Here's a hit with them in mind."  

[music] "Nowhere to run to, baby..." 

And the Warriors are all like:

Warriors sure do like running.  

Baron: [winded, running from the Basketball Furies] I can't make it.
SJax: Are you sure?
Baron: Yes, I'm sure...
SJax: Well, good! I'm sick of runnin' from these wimps! 

 

And Pietrus is all like:

"We're going in there with nothing?"
Biedrins: "We're going like everybody else: nine guys, no weapons." 

Warriors aren't scared of you...  

And Avery is all like:

"Who are the Warriors? There must be some word! I want ALL the Warriors! I want them alive, if possible. If not, wasted! But I want them. Send the word!"

Avery wishes he was this smooth and hard.  

And after Game 5 Dallas fans are all like:

"Yeah, that's right, Warriors. Just keep walkin'. Real tough muthas, ain't ya? You guys don't show me much. Why don't you dickheads just walk all the way back home, huh?"

Dallas is a bunch of Debbies, with guns.  

And Devin Harris is all like:

"We're gonna rain on you, Warriors!" 

Yeah, I'm tough, stop laughing...  

But Dirk is all like: 

"You Warriors are good. Real good."
SJax: "The best."

The best, as voted upon by German NBAers.

And the city of Oakland is all like:

"Warriors, come out to play-i-ay." 

I miss Coney Island.  

And Nellie is all like:

Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!  

Nobody is wasting nobody. That... is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.
[Few more soldiers cheering for Nellie]
Nellie: You're standing right now with nine delegates from 100 gangs. And there's over a hundred more. That's 20,000 hardcore members. Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to fight: 60,000 soldiers! Now, there ain't but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah.
Nellie: Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah!
Nellie: Can you dig it?
Gang Members: YEAH!
[shouting and Cheering] 

Cyrus is a bad mo-fo

Preview coming tomorrow.... 



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Spring Training 08

































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