Location: the secret meeting of the NBA-Former Yugoslavia blogs.
NBA-Serbia & Montenegro: Have you all heard? NBA-Macedonia has broken off and gone on own. He’s got Game of Death. We must do something. We take action!
NBA-Slovenia (smoking cigarette): Why am I here? I am not Former Yugoslavia. I have big GNP… big like ox!
NBA-Bosnia & Herzegovnia: Oh, no, here we go again…
NBA-Slovenia: …my GNP is so big it doesn’t answer phone calls from Vladimir Putin. My GNP is so big it only plays arenas. My GNP is so big it only tips with hundreds. Slovenia is Western. We’re in EU!
NBA-B&H (aloud): And you dress like an Austrian.
Everyone laughs
NBA-Slovenia (flicking cigarette butt away): Whatever. We go now. We take Nesterovic and Nachbar with us. And Primoz Brezec! He as good as Mikhail Jordan.
Slovenia exits
NBA-Croatia: We are also Western. We are also EU. Croatia is leaving!
NBA-S&M: Pleeeease. You wish you were Western. You’re as Balkan as Zastava auto and bicycle with one wheel.
NBA-B&H (takes off shoe, starts pounding it on table): We will bury you! Has anyone seen our other shoe? We had two yesterday.
NBA-S&M: You can’t leave. You are as Balkan as day is long. Now, we must deal with NBA-Macedonia.
NBA-Croatia: Fine. Let’s burn their villages and cleanse their people. Croatia has finest basketballers in region, anyway.
NBA-S&M: Peja Stojanovic is money! He hit three from anywhere.
NBA-Greece enters
NBA-Greece: Kalimera. We would like you to cease referring to them as NBA-Macedonia, and please call them NBA-Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia, per the UN negotiated agreement between Greece and FYROM.
NBA-S&M: I will break you!
NBA-Greece: This is Spaaaarta!
Greco-wrestling styled grappling ensues.
Aside between NBA-Croatia and NBA-Bosnia & Herzegovnia
NBA-Croatia: We need to get Greeks out of here before Turks show up. If they see each other…
NBA-B&H: …it would be bad. They’ll start fighting like little girls again.
NBA-Croatia: How do we get rid of them?
NBA-Georgia enters
NBA-Georgia: Has anyone seen NBA-Greece? Nikolaz Tskitishvili looking for Jake Tsakalidis. He outside in horse-drawn carriage to go clubbing in city. We practice Georgian National Dance.
Starts doing ballet dancing
NBA-Greece: Damn. Those clowns have been pestering us to allow Jake to play for them, since he’s of Georgian descent (-idis). Screw that, we’re done here. Yassou, malakas! Gyros! This is Spaaaarta!
NBA-Greece exits. Via the back door, of course.
NBA-Georgia: Damn you, Croatia! You let Greece get away.
NBA-Croatia: Damn me? I will cleanse your people. I will burn your villages! I burn Atlanta like Sherman.
NBA-Georgia flees.
NBA-Albania: We-a gonn-a make-a pizz-a. For every-body! Mangia!
NBA-Italia: Hey! We-a make-a da pizza! With-a our number uno play-a Manu Ginobili!
NBA-Argentina: Hey! Ginobili’s from Argentina.
NBA-Italia: Hey, fuck-a you!
They both invade the Falkland Islands out of spite.
NBA-Montenegro: We have an announcement to make. We’re splitting off from NBA-Serbia.
NBA-Serbia: The hell you are. Negro, you are trippin'. We will burn your villages!
NBA-Montenegro: Screw you. It is we who will burnourvillages!
UN Peace keepers are called in. 13 hours later:
NBA-UN Peace keepers: Okay, here’s the deal. NBA-Serbia gets the right to keep: Peja Stojanovic and his bad wrist…
NBA-Serbia: Peja can hit three from anywhere.
NBA-UN Peace keepers: …as well as Nenad Kristic’s bad knee, Vladamir Radmanovic’s broken wrist, Marko Jaric’s broken jumper, and Darko Mlicic’s broken spirit. And in return, NBA-Montenegro gets…
NBA-Montenegro: Yes?
NBA-UN Peace keepers: …the rights to Predrag Drobnjak.
NBA-Bosnia (to NBA-Herzegovnia): Ha, ha. We will never split, right?
NBA-Herzegovnia (nervous laugh): Of course not. (packing bags)
NBA-Bulgaria: I have no idea why I am here. Where is Romania, I miss them much.
NBA-Russia: Hey, can we add one thing?
All: Sure.
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I just found this post.
Hillarious.