Well, I'm glad I searched all over Miami to find a bar where I could watch the Knicks-Magic game tonight, which had huge playoff ramifications.  And thankfully I found a bar at the mall, which despite being indoors has ducks flying around.  I've come to realize that ducks are to Miami what pigeons are in NYC.  Ibis roam free!  Little Sebastians, even in the backyard. 

The end of the first quarter was awful to watch for Knicks fans.  The lineup consisted of Nate Robinson at the point, along with Balkman, Malik Rose, Jeffries, and good lord, Jerome James.  Marbury was sitting out, with ice on his knees and looking like he wouldn't return.  Actual game transcript from the end of the first quarter:

Nate Robinson:  Wheeee!  I'm the point!
Jerome James:   Feed me the ball.
Nate Robinson:  NO!  You're just gonna eat it.  Wheeee, I'm gonna shoot.
Nate Robinson:  Wait, I can't shoot.  I promised the nice Mr. Tom that I wouldn't shoot if he let me play point.  But it's so much fun to shoot!!!
Isiah Thomas:    The shot clock is about to expire.
Nate Robinson:  Oh, no.  I'll pass it to the old guy, he always knows what to do.
(passes ball to Malik Rose with time running down on the shot clock)

Malik Rose:  Oh, no.  Why is this kid passing me the ball.  I'm too old for this shit.
Malik Rose:  F*ck it, I ain't passing it back to that ball hog.  These kids nowadays, always dribbling.
[shoots ball.  Hits a 19 footer)

Next possession:
Nate Robinson:  Wheeeee.  I'm the point guard, gonna dribbling the ball... dribble the ball... I'm dribbling the ball...
Isiah Thomas:  Shot clock!
Nate Robinson: Oh no!  Again?  Where's the old dude?
[Passes to Malik Rose]

Malik Rose:  F*ck I hate this kid.  I hate my life.  Why can't my horrible contract be brought out, like that Francis kid.  Goddamn kids.  
[shoots ball.  Hits 19 footer again)

Stephon Marbury (from bench): Jeeeesus.  That's it.  I'm gonna back in.
Isiah Thomas: But you can't.  You don't have any knees!
Stephon Marbury:  I don't care!  I have to do something.
[All of a sudden a long shadow appears behind the bench.]

Mystery man: Perhaps I can help.
Isiah & Marbury:  Patrick Ewing?  What are you doing here?
Patrick Ewing:  I heard you need knees.  Perhaps you want to borrow mine?
[Takes off his artificial knees, offers them to Marbury, who puts them on]

Marbury: Now I can put this team on my back like Whoa!

And so went the second quarter, with Steph carrying the Knicks on his back.  At the half, Marbury had 19 points; Balkman, thanks to a couple of electrifying dunks right before the half, had 8 points; James had 6 points, 3 fouls, and 2 Subway footlong sandwiches.  Seriously, if James is your third leading scorer, something is wrong.

The Magic were lead by Tony Battie's 7 points.  Tony Battie looks like he's destined to play a basketball coach on a TV series/movie at some point in the future.  The Knicks were up 49-45 at the half.   Actual Magic conversation:

Darko:  This Balkman guy, his hair, it hit me in the face.  Over and over, in face.
Jameer Nelson:  It's okay, man.
Darko:   NO.  It no okay.  Back in Serbia, you can kill man's whole family for such offense...
Jameer:  Wow, that's awful.
Darko:  No, it's okay.  We burn their village, too.
JJ Redick:  What about if they are Brosnian?
Darko:  What's a Brosnian?
JJ Redick:  Don't your people like, hate Remington Steele and sh*t? 
Jameer Nelson:  I think he's confused.  He means Bosnians.   You have to forgive him, he went to Duke.
Brian Hill:  Where's Dwight Howard?  Has anyone seen Dwight?
Jameer:  He went up for a rebound.  He'll be back down any minute now.
Brian Hill:  What the hell?  Is Patrick Ewing giving Marbury his knees?  You guys are GOING TO HAVE TO STOP MARBURY. 
Grant Hill:  Hey, you think Ewing's got any ankles I could borrow?
Jamal Crawford:  Dibs.

Hmm.   Unrelated notes:  The Heat game was on.  Got tell you, assistant coach Keith Askins has a Nation of Islam look going on.  Is he always dressed like Brother Askins?   Also unrelated:  Denver really impressed me tonight - they had a 33-10 run against the Pistons at one point, and had that game won (on the road, against the best team in the East) up until Rasheed Wallace hit a 60 foot chuck at the buzzer to send the game into OT.  Tough loss, but moral victory.   You donotwant to play the Nuggets in the playoffs. 

Hey, third quarter action.  Interesting tidbit:  Elton John and Billy Joel both have retired jerseys hanging at MSG.  That's appropriate, because the Knicks playoffs chances are now a candle in the wind.  Are there any other non-players with jerseys in the rafters?  I saw Lauren Hill perform at MSG once... how many more shows does she have to do before we see The Fugees number get retired?  What about Pope John Paul II?  Didn't he play MSG?  Think there is a PJP II jersey up there?  Where do I get a Elton John throwback jersey?

DoctorK16 pointed out in the comments over at postingandtoasting that Malik Rose always does that move where he pulls on the opposing players trunks, then pulls the chair out on them.  My dad invented that move, so you know, back in the early 60's when he was on the Argentina national team.  It's called the Argentine Ass Flop.  It also known as the Queen of Clubs, and El Ton Juan.

Speaking ofpostingandtoasting, go check their game notes.  Thanks to our linking, they are now #16 overall onLowpost'sbasketball blog rankings.  SML is #31, but next time Seth shows us some love we'll probably move up a few spots.  Seriously, at #30 is The Nugg Doctor.  Bad name - I would have gone with Nuggz.  At #29 is Basketbawful.   That's that Matt Stone/Trey Parker/Naked Gun movie, right?  Lame.  At #28: The Spurs have a freaking blog?  Why?!?  Ha, their running joke is that Jackie Butler is fat.  Ironic.  At #27 is some Lakers blog - bah.  We cover the Lakers here, too.   That's what DJM is for.   Screw that, we are going for #25.  Seth, hit me two times.

Alright, fourth quarter.  The Knicks enter the period trailing by 6 after scoring only 15 points in the third.  They spent the last six minutes of the third period playing "let the shot clock expire before taking a shot", a surprisingly ineffective strategy.  At this point we decide that the Knicks have 12 minutes left to salvage their season.

And so they went to work.  Getting to the line - they start off the period 10-15 from the FT line, thanks to interior pentration led by Marbury.   That's versus 0-1 for the Magic (their one was a late foul on Battie).  The Knicks also were getting in the passing lanes, utilizing a three point lineup again (Marbury, Robinson, Collins); Robinson came up with a couple of huge steals, and the Knicks beat the Magic in TOs for the period 7-0.  The problem was the rebounding, but the Knicks were sitting on an 87-84 lead with two minutes to go.  Then Jameer Nelson nailed a three.  Then the critical play - Marbury drove, and Howard got away with a clear goaltending (the replay clearly shows the ball coming down when he blocks it), and while the Knicks were furious at the blown call, Nelson hit another big three to give the Magic a 90-87 lead.  Isiah was ready to do the ref like he was a David Falk-represented player, but it didn't matter.   The refs gave Marbury two free throws on the next possession, but in the end the Knicks couldn't score again, and the Magic came away with a 94-89 victory.

And now the Knicks chances are all but done, unless they can pull off a big winning streak.  We have two weeks to write the orbituary for the season, so no need to rush it tonight. 

Two last tidbits I noted tonight: One, Jorge Garbajosa of the Raptors is done for the year.  Small, but important, blow to the Raptors.  He was a critical component of their team, and this makes them a little more vulnerable than they were before.  Two, Hedo Turkoglu was sporting a faux-hawk.  He looked both like a South American and a bigger douche than JJ Redick, all at the same time.  Worth mentioning.  

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