Brief Interviews With Hideous Men: Lebron James
by StopMikeLupica.com's own Canadian DJM (banned from Yaysports edition)
Lebron.
Q.
It doesn't mean anything, it's just mine name.
Q.
No, it doesn't mean "The Bron."
Q.
I don't care what it means in French.
Q.
Listen to me, thou dumb Philistine. It's not "Le bronze." But yes, I'm very proud of the way we represented our country during the 2004 Olympics.
Q.
Can we please move on? Mine name is just mine name. Thank thou.
Q.
That's not my father, my agent, and my wispy friend. Those are all me.
Q.
Yes, all of them.
Q.
Makeup.
Q.
Only for commercial shoots. I don't actually go out wearing makeup.
Q.
If I did sponsor a makeup company, it would be Sephora. They hold their standards high. Thou knowest what I'm saying.
Q.
Oh, it's part of the new Nike campaign, "Thou Shalt Do It." I'm supposed to talk like the King James Bible.
Q.
I prefer the New Revised Standard Edition, myself. I mean, mineself.
Q.
I know it's a dumb joke, but it's early. Thou come up with something better when you're hopped up on allergy medication.
Q.
Yeah, OK. Can you find your own way out? It's down the circular stairwell, past the fourth kitchen, hang a left in the atrium, go through the gymnasium, quiet as you walk through the greenhouse, turn right at the monkey cages, then you need to go up three steps until you reach the west wing. Ask for directions from somebody once you get there. Oh, and watch out for the gators. Those dinosaurs are nasty, but I love them. They look like Chris Bosh, though. Odd. Anyway, you should be out of the house in about twenty, thirty minutes. I mean thou should. Whatever. I shall smite thee. Get out of mine house.
Note: This was the post we did over at Yaysports that was banned over there. Guess we are off to a great start as a guest poster....
The format for these interviews is taken from David Foster Wallace's extraordinary book of the same name, which includes a series of interviews in which the questions are not seen. Seriously, the book is astonishingly good, as one might expect what with it being written by the greatest living writer of the English language and all. And no, I'm not just saying that to avoid a cease and desist letter (I'm pretty sure this is fair parody); I'm saying that to encourage him to write another novel, for pity's sake. It's been ten years. Come on. We're waiting, our breath bated. Please. I'll beg if I have to.
So if you came here looking for the DFW book: buy it. If you came here looking for real interviews with physically ugly individuals, no dice. Alors. Good luck.
Leave a comment
|
6 Comments
Comments
Hey Dervin - thanks, hope you enjoyed. Our beef was not with The Cavalier's reasoning for taking the post down - he doesn't have to have a reason, its his site.
Our beef was with his publicly discrediting this website and DJM's contributions, calling it a "complete rip off of someone else's schtick" and the comparison to Scoop Jackson.
We find that totally classless; we gave full credit to David Wallace Foster, and everything we did was original material (nothing from the book) based on fair use parody. If the Cavalier doesn't want it on his website, that's fine. But to call it a total rip-off is completely ignorant, insulting, and hypocritical. We "stole" no more than he "steals" every picture on his website... after all, that picture of Victoria Beckham (for example) that he photoshopped - that's an example of fair use parody. He's a hypocrite for accusing us of completely rip-off someone off - at least we credit where our source material comes from; did he credit the photographer or website he "ripped-off" that photo from?
We really feel he should apologize to DJM. The irony is he got no apology from Scoop, even when it was clear Scoop stole his material, and now in a similar situation the Cavalier is showing that he, too, is unwilling to apologize, even when its clear that is guilty of slandering someone. The internet is a lawless world....
This photo thing is a new argument. lol
1) I did not post every correspondence between myself and Scoop Jackson.
2) Again, I'm not slandering anyone. I never said what he did was illegal. Just immoral and creatively bankrupt.
One would assume one would choose to bring their best work if they're given the opportunity to post on a bigger site. And what's he bring? A riff on someone else's stuff. I'm sure the guy is a fine and influential playright (as I keep being told over and over and over), but I think it's weak writing to do what he did. Period, end of story.
The only thing I apologize for is misusing the word plagiarize, although truthfully I'm not sure I did.
Look up the laws - one time is parody - more than one is something else.
For the last time, I just can't comprehend why someone would want to be known as "That guy who does that imitation of that other guy".
Also, you kinda know you're losing an argument when you start accusing the other party of completely unrelated things.
This is like if my little sister wrecked my car, and in response reminded me that I killed one of her plants in 1999 or something.
This isn't about me and what I do, it's about what you did.
Also, you kinda know you're losing an argument when you start accusing the other party of completely unrelated things.
You absolutely right. And it should be noted it hurts your argument when, after asking for evidence of where "I accuse you of plagiarism", and promising an apology if such evidence is presented, you fail to live up to your end of the bargain. After all, DJM did present proof that you accused him of plagiarism, and your response was to call him a superior writer (sarcastically). You fail to give him an honest apology, even after he presented an (unnecessarily) humble apology to you. That shows a lot about your character, and how much you lack.
In fact, it's ironic that you hold yourself as the judge of what is plagiarism, and what is not, when this post from thebasketballjones:
http://www.thebasketballjones.net/2007/03/29/scottie-pippens-creepy-video/
and your most recent post (in which you present the same YouTube video) are almost identical. By your own criteria are you not "completely ripping-off" Skeets? Seriously, you are taking his idea (posting this YouTube video of the weird Pippen tribute), his schtick (according to the "Top 20 Influential SportsBloggers post", Skeets "uncovers endless amounts of top-grade YouTube video". That sounds like its his schtick), and posting it on your website. Yes, you credit him. Nice. DJM credited David Foster Wallace.
Do you really want to be known that guy that does a good impression of Skeets?
Explain the difference for me, please. I want to learn.
But I suspect that rather than honestly discuss this matter, you'll once again post a response that'll have nothing to do with this conversation.
I'm over here because I missed the post on Yaysports. So I had to check it out.
DFW is one of my favorite writers. I don't think what you did was stealing, more of a parody.
But I think he's still smarting about Scoop Jackson and wants to be totally clean. Because you know there will be some asshole who'll say something like "But you stole from DFW."