You Americans think you number one, but you number ten!

Q.

Serbia and Montenegro.

Q.

No, it's one country, it's just called Serbia and Montenegro. It's kind of like if North and South Dakota were one state, you might call it North and South Dakota.

Q.

No, I'm aware that it's not actually one state. Let me think of a better example. You know pork and beans.

Q.

It doesn't matter if you don't eat pork, it's just an example. You call it pork and beans, but it's still just one food, right? You wouldn't consider it two separate foods.

Q.

If you'd rather move on, that's fine. I'm just trying to help you understand.

Q.

Oh, that? I slipped on a patch of ice.

Q.

Yes, the patch of ice was on a snowboarding slope.

Q. 

I never said it wasn't.

Q.

Lying by omission is hardly lying.  

Q.

No it isn't.

Q.

No it isn't.

Q.

Nuh-uh.

Q

No, you're ugly. 

The format for these interviews is taken from David Foster Wallace's extraordinary book of the same name, which includes a series of interviews in which the questions are not seen. Seriously, the book is astonishingly good, as one might expect what with it being written by the greatest living writer of the English language and all. And no, I'm not just saying that to avoid a cease and desist letter (I'm pretty sure this is fair parody); I'm saying that to encourage him to write another novel, for pity's sake. It's been ten years. Come on. We're waiting, our breath bated. Please. I'll beg if I have to.

So if you came here looking for the DFW book: buy it. If you came here looking for real interviews with physically ugly individuals, no dice. Alors. Good luck.



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2 Comments

Comments

[March 5, 2007 3:28 AM]  |  link  |  reply
brian said

What an idiot.

Sincerely,

Jeff Kent

http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2002/0320/1354867.html

[January 16, 2010 1:51 PM]  |  link  |  reply
schmackhafter Kaviar said

Flavourful ;-)) - In Truth delicious recipes. I love your weblog, move on!


Spring Training 08






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