Inanimate Objects/Random People and who they will root for in the Super Bowl:
Notorious Academy Award Whore Tom Hanks – grew up in California, then moved to Cleveland. However, The Road To Perdition takes place in Chicago. Therefore: The Bears.
Fridges – have been fans of the Bears since one named William Perry played for them in the 80’s. Therefore: The Bears.
DisneyLand – clearly favors Peyton Manning winning, so they can use the Notorious NFL Commercial Whore in yet another ad. Plus really scared by the thought of having Rex Grossman as a corporate representative. Imagine Trent Dilfer, but with a higher chance of naked drunk pictures ending up on the internet. Therefore: The Colts.
Meat: Tired of being cut. The Bears.
Tall People: Indiana has to be the tallest state in the U.S (along with Iowa). No doubt: The Colts.
Round Mustached People – Da Bears.
Light: Still mad at Devin Hester for that time he outran it while returning a punt. The Colts.
Karma: Against the Bears, since they beat the Saints. Especially after this poster. The Colts.
Construction Workers: Also against the Bears, since they got screw out of Super Bowl tickets promised on public access. The Colts.
Cars: Nowhere in the world are they more revered than in Indianapolis. The Colts.
Planes: O’Hare is the second busiest airport (by passenger traffic) in the U.S., other than Delta perma-layover spot Hatsfield-Jackson Airport (Atlanta). All those planes must love Chicago. The Bears.
Trains: Impartial, tired of hearing cars and planes bicker for the past week about football. Just wants this to be over.
Garfield: From Indiana, according to the license plate on Jon’s car. The Colts.
Winnie The Pooh: The Bears.
Tigger: The Colts.
Carrion, Insects, small rodents and ungulate fawns: The Colts.
Props for using the word “ungulate”: The SML.
The Andes Mountain Chain: Hard to get a quote, but historically has favored the colts over the bears. Bigger fan of the llamas, though.
BJ: The Bear.
Elmer's: The Bears.
Bad News: The Bears.
Yogi: Smarter than your average Bear, predicts easy Colts victory….
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Great post. I really like reading your blog as the articles are so easy to read and follow. You'll have to come out with a second part.